By Vanessa Rosengart Bishop, Elder Care Consultants Founder and President

As a young teen, my mother would make it a point to remind me to start off a sentence with “I”, when needing to express myself and in particular my feelings. She emphasized that it reveals a vital sign of inner strength and ownership. I am grateful to this day to my mother for teaching me this wonderful tool.

The use of “I” in communication has not only been applied in my personal life, but professional career as a business owner and Aging Life Care Manager (ALCM). The use of “I” instills empowerment and stimulates growth in oneself and others. As a practicing ALCM, the positive and constructive use of the word “I” is crucial for effective communication, establishing trust, fostering positive working relationships with clients and their families, and the ultimate goal of achieving the identified goals of care as a team.

Here’s why using “I” is particularly important in this role:

Demonstrating Accountability and Responsibility

Using “I” shows the people I work with that I take personal responsibility for the care management I provide and the decisions I make. This creates transparency and builds trust with clients and families, who need to know that they are being supported by someone who is fully engaged.

In Aging Life Care Management, it is important that clients, families, and healthcare teams understand who is responsible for what actions and decisions. By using “I,” my role and intentions are explicit, ensuring that there is no confusion about who is taking action.

Building Rapport and Trust

Using “I” creates a personalized connection with clients. It reminds them that they are working with a real person who is professionally invested in their well-being, not a detached professional or a system. Using I in an authoritative manner will create friction, distance and an unhealthy working relationship. The goal of an ALCM is to become a team member and not a dictator.

Fostering Client Empowerment and Encouraging Participation

The word “I” empowers clients by showing them that their opinions and preferences matter. Framing statements with “I” invites clients to participate actively in the decision-making process, which fosters a sense of autonomy and control over their care. Fostering a client’s right to self-determination and ensuring a client centered approach.

Establishing Boundaries and Expectations

As an ALCM, it’s essential to establish healthy boundaries to avoid burnout and maintain professional integrity. Using “I” helps to set these boundaries clearly and respectfully, especially when addressing sensitive topics.

Expressing Compassion and Empathy

The use of “I” allows me to express empathy and compassion in a more personal way, which is essential in Aging Life Care Management. It shows you are human and can also become vulnerable. This should not be perceived as a flaw, but a strength in acknowledging that no one person is perfect. Showing compassion and empathy to others creates connectedness and which is part of team building. Practicing as an ALCM requires team building and a team approach.

Promoting Collaborative Care

When working with family members, caregivers, or healthcare professionals, using “I” makes me a collaborative partner rather than an authoritative figure or diminisher.

It allows me to be a multiplier. A multiplier is someone who invites others into the conversation and allows for open dialogue that allows others and their ideas to be heard and digested for thought and consideration. Everyone’s input and ideas are heard and valued as a team. Multipliers see the views of others as multicolor and not black and white. This is instrumental in promoting a collaborative care team and growth within.

Modeling Healthy Communication

Families of aging clients may struggle with clear communication, especially when it comes to difficult decisions regarding care. Using “I” to express needs, opinions, and feelings models healthy communication practices.

Healthy communication removes concern about being shut down by others. The comfort of openness begins to evolve among the ALCM and team. This lowers the guardrails to expressing ideas, thoughts, and desires.

Promoting Self-Reflection and Continuous Improvement

Using “I” lets me reflect on my actions and approach to care. By saying things like, “I’ve learned that I need to adjust my approach in this situation,” I demonstrate openness to growth, feedback, and continuous improvement.

Using “I” is essential for clear, empathetic, and responsible communication. In my work as an ALCM, it helps build trust, encourages collaboration, empowers clients, and sets boundaries. This simple word creates a positive, transparent, and supportive environment for clients and their families, improving the quality of care provided.

To learn more about the role of an Aging Life Care Manager please contact Elder Care Consultants at 703-904-0191.